When did Lehigh become the Mountain Hawks? I must have missed the meeting when this happened. I thought they were the Engineers. I liked them as the Engineers. Is there something politically incorrect about being the Engineers? Does their union discriminate on the grounds of age or sex? Do they endorse gay marriage? What on earth happened to the Engineers? (Or was it simply a case of marketing, as it was when my alma mater, Binghamton University, switched from "Colonials" to "Bearcats," because they wanted a ferocious symbol to slap on T-shirts and sweat pants to move more product? I mean, how ferocious can an engineer be? Seriously, what's he going to do, stab people with his slide rule?)
I bring this up because I'm looking for a real long shot to pull for in the NCAAs, and Lehigh, champion of the over-romanticized Patriot League (motto: "John Feinstein Slurps Us") fits the bill. Lehigh and Florida A&M are the longest shots on the board. They're meeting tonight in the "play-in" game just to get into the main draw of 64. I'm taking Lehigh because: 1) Florida A&M is the only team in the NCAAs with a losing record, and 2) aren't Mountain Hawks supposed to prey on Rattlers? What chance would Engineers have against Rattlers? Would they ward them off with plastic pocket protectors? (I also like Lehigh because if you stretch it out and scream it, "Leeeee-hiiiiii!" it reminds me of Howard Dean at a pep rally.)
Two weeks ago I'd have chosen Maryland as a real long shot in the NCAAs, since two weeks ago it appeared Maryland was headed to the National Invitation Tournament. But what a fantastic run: beating N.C. State at State, Virginia, Wake Forest, N.C. State, again, and Duke! Maryland went from nearly out of the tournament to a No. 4 seed. If America Online stock jumped like that, Teddy Log-On wouldn't have needed to sell off every player he had. If AOL stock jumped like Gary Williams jumped after the Virginia game, ah, but I digress.
For your bracketing pleasure, we have one trifecta of Tigers, Tigers and Tigers (Princeton, Memphis and Pacific), and a bunch of "Noah Specials," such as: Wildcats and Wildcats (Arizona, Kentucky); Bulldogs and Bulldogs (Gonzaga, Mississippi State); Huskies and Huskies (Connecticut, Washington); Eagles and Eagles (Boston College, Eastern Washington); Panthers and Panthers (Pitt, Northern Iowa); Hawks and Hawks (Monmouth, St. Joseph's); Flames and Flames (Liberty, Illinois-Chicago). Sadly, no James Brown and his Famous Flames. Then there are the "Nearly Noah Specials": Cardinals and Cardinal (Louisville, Stanford); Wolfpack and Wolf Pack (N.C. State, Nevada); Blue Demons and Demon Deacons (DePaul, Wake Forest); Pirates and Buccaneers (Seton Hall, East Tennessee State); Spiders and Rattlers (Richmond, Florida A&M). And if there's a Crimson (Alabama Crimson Tide), surely there has to be a Clover.
Okay, everybody into the Pool!
All Dog Final Four: Gonzaga Bulldogs, Connecticut Huskies, Southern Illinois Salukis, the Wizards.
All Big Cats: Kentucky Wildcats, Cincinnati Bearcats, Vermont Catamounts, Andy Katz.
All Rainbow: Red Raiders, Blue Devils, Yellow Jackets, Orangemen.
Birds of Prey: Lehigh Mountain Hawks, Boston College Eagles, Air Force Falcons, David Falk.
George W. Bush Bonanza: Texas, Texas Tech, Texas-El Paso, Texas-San Antonio.
Rock 'n' Roll Will Never Die: Eagles, Alabama, Commodores, Road Runners (Junior Walker and the All-Stars, baby!).
Fighting for Your Souls: Devils, Demons, Friars, Crusaders.
Bad Things to Be Trapped in a Room With: Gators, Longhorns, Hornets, Feinstein.
All UAW: Cougars, Blazers, Broncos, Falcons.
Working Class Heroes: Miners, Spartans, Musketeers, Cowboys.
Existential Final Four: Providence, Liberty, Pacific, Ragin' Cajuns.
All Weather Vane: Northern Iowa, Eastern Washington, Western Michigan, Southern Illinois (bonus: Central Florida).
Real People Final Four: Brigham Young, Vanderbilt, Stanford, Duke.
All Hawks: St. Joe's, Kansas, Lehigh, Cheney.
All High Seas: Pirates, Buccaneers, Commodores, Johnny Depp.
Calm Down: Fighting Illini, Runnin' Utes, Ragin' Cajuns, Gary Williams.
Nice Cities: Charlotte, Richmond, Memphis, Pittsburgh.
Real City: Manhattan.
All-Name Second Team: Butter Johnson (Charlotte), Giovanni St. Amant (UTEP), Earl "Call A" Nurse (Lehigh), Quemont Greer (DePaul), Brad Nuckles (East Tennessee State).
All-Name First Team: Louvon Sneed (Liberty), Sheiku Kabba (Providence), David "I Am The" President (Texas-San Antonio), Marcetteaus McGee (Illinois-Chicago), Dawid Przybyszewski (Vanderbilt).
All-Name MVP: Zakee Wadood (East Tennessee State).
Now, the part you've waited for, the annual Jim Boeheim prediction: You might recall that Boeheim was somewhat reluctant to pick a winner last year. In hindsight that's because he must have felt he had a real shot to win -- and he did!
This year Boeheim sees "a wide open tournament," in which "none of the number one seeds might make the Final Four." He likes two ACC teams in particular -- Wake Forest and Georgia Tech. He likes Pittsburgh also, though he thinks a second-round matchup with Wisconsin in Milwaukee is problematic.
But most of all, Boeheim likes one of his Big East brothers, Connecticut. "If Emeka Okafor is healthy, I'm going with Connecticut," Boeheim says. "That's the best team."